Proverbs 21:10
[10] The soul of the wicked desires evil; his neighbor finds no mercy in his eyes. (ESV)
Something that Proverbs continuously points out is that there are people that love to be mean. Mean is such a simple word. A word that we learn so early in life that we often dismiss it's depth of emotional turmoil.
There are people who can never be pleased. There will always be something that is wrong, and you can rest assured that they will "cause a stink" and "raise a ruckus" about it. Your apology may buy some time, but only until their next opportunity to draw blood. This is an evilness in a person's spirit.
Our first response to such an evilness in someone's spirit should be one of pity. This evilness is a miserable way to live. Such a person is even so with the ones they love, meaning they never really love or understand being loved. They are caught in a specific trap of sin. One where they believe the only way to be happy is to constantly manipulate, coerce, and lash out in order to get their own way. Whether it be through the tools of anger, guilt trips, or complaints; this person's satisfaction is a slave to their discontentment. Our pity for them should fuel our longing for them to understand the gospel and be set free from this trap of sin.
Our second response to such an evilness in someone's spirit is to identify the real problem. One manipulative person can ruin a whole house, family, work place, church, school, government, or perhaps even nation. This person is caught in a sin trap that cannot be appeased. There is no "enough". Therefore we cannot let ourselves fall into the trap of making things right for the manipulative person. They will drain every resource from you or the organization in a futile attempt to find contentment.
Loving such a person cannot include giving in to their wickedness. It also cannot be a sort of reverse manipulation. Appeasing sin never works. Responding to sin with more sin also never works. Loving this person requires us to stay with the facts, stand with the truth, and reveal reasonable expectations in the face of their fury. We must help them understand mercy. Someone who cannot see mercy, cannot understand it. Someone who cannot understand mercy cannot understand the gospel. Nor can they accept it.
Our third response to such an evilness in someone's spirit is to identify it within ourselves and to put a stop to it. We must recognize that even the best of us can throw a pretty awful pity party from time to time. Selfishness can creep in and corrupt even the most forgiving of spirits. Wicked attitudes quickly become wicked ways when we fail to identify and squelch them quickly. This is precisely why God commands a spirit of thanksgiving throughout the whole of scripture. We must allow the holy spirit complete and honest access to the darkest depths of our hearts. And we must surrender to His will once He is there.
